It’s been a week since I first posted. I’d like to start this post off with some successes from this week:
- I drank my last Pepsi on Sunday.
- Tried a couple “healthified” recipes this week.
- Moderation. I’ve been much better at my portion sizes, especially desserts.
- Finally decided to surrender this part of my life to God on Sunday.
That’s a good week I think. I still haven’t stepped on the scale yet, I haven’t started my food journal, and I haven’t done any exercising (okay I want to go walk but its HOT outside!). But, celebrate every victory, even the small ones, right?
I’m still not “gung-ho” about this weight loss effort. I mean, yes I want to lose this weight and keep it off, but again, its hard work, and it takes TIME. And this is another fear I have; that I’m not going to be able to “make time” to do this. Ever since I went back to work after having David, I have been struggling with managing my time. Between Work & commute, there goes almost 10 hours of the 24 hour day. I have to sleep, plus getting myself & the kids ready to go in the morning, there goes another 8-9 hours. That leaves 5 hours. Oh and after work, I cook dinner, feed David, and eat myself, there’s another hour. Okay so that leaves 4 hours a day, Monday thru Friday, to spend time with my kids & husband, do chores around the house, be a Creative Memories consultant, take Lily to playdates, do the grocery shopping, pay the bills/balance the checkbook, spend time with God (which I admit has been lacking lately), plus more! None of those things I just listed are negotiable to me. Of course Phil does help with the chores, and its not like I take Lily to playdates every night of the week. I have been a little better this summer, as we have cut out the cable, and so I haven’t been watching any television really. Maybe a movie on the weekend, and Friends reruns while I’m in bed trying to go to sleep, but that’s it. And I do feel that sometimes I am on the computer too much, but honestly, at least 80% of the time, its because I am: returning emails, paying bills online, doing stuff related to my CM business, searching for printable coupons/sales/etc, and now, blogging. Okay the other 20% is just doing stuff on Facebook. But here is another success this week: In the past 5 days, I have cut back my facebook time by at least 50%.
Okay, I kind of got off on a tangent there. The whole point I was trying to make, is that I am struggling with time management as it is. I keep thinking to myself, how am I going to make time for the meal planning & exercising? Well, I don’t have a sure-fire answer yet, but I’m taking baby steps. [That reminds me…okay, another tangent coming] Another struggle I’m having is related to this time management issue, and that’s David. I love both my kids to pieces. But when Lily was a baby, I always knew I’d have at least 1 more kid. But with David…he MAY be my last baby! And so when I am home with him, I never want to let him go! I don’t want to miss anything. And the times I do set him down to play on his own so that I can get a chore done, I feel so guilty! He goes to bed between 8-8:30, then I’m getting Lily ready for bed, so then its 9 pm, and I realize I have only 2 hours to accomplish everything on my To Do list that is a mile long. And I NEVER finish everything on that list. So its a never ending list. Ugh. [One more side note: I want more kids, but I don’t know how moms of more than 2 kids do it! I feel like I’m already spread so thin with only 2 kids!]
I’m posting my struggles such as these, because the more I “talk” about them, the more I am able to realize how my issues play into why I overeat, graze, and binge eat. I think its helping so far. I’ve been able to take the red pill [if you don’t get that, you need to watch the Matrix] and see my life for what it really is.