I’m losing it! (Not my weight, my mind)

Yesterday, I counted the things that I’m going to lose/change when I lose weight permanently. So now, why do I want to lose weight? Let me count the ways….

  1. For my kids – I want to be around for them for a LONG time
  2. For my husband – same as above
  3. To improve my overall health
  4. Because I only have 1 pair of jeans & 2 pairs of capri pants that fit right now
  5. Because Lily is only 4 & is already kinda overweight…I do NOT want her to follow in my footsteps
  6. I want my feet, knees, back to stop hurting
  7. To not have to shop in the Plus Size section anymore
  8. I really want to fit on all the rides at Harry Potter World next year
  9. Because I think, in general, people will think more highly of me if I’m not so fat
  10. Because I want to get out of the vicious “I’m fat because I eat, and I eat because I’m fat” cycle

Okay, some are really serious, some are just superficial. But here’s the deal, the honest truth. I want to lose this weight. I truly do. But as of right now, have I really taken a single step towards that goal (in regards to my eating & exercising habits)? NO.  I am so scared of losing it & gaining it back again that I am afraid to proceed. I don’t want to fail. So how do I fix this?

Well, I think all signs point me in the same direction. That #1 step that “Lose it for Life” is telling me: surrender. I am imperfect, and deep down, I know, if I do it all by myself, I’ll fail. But God is perfect. And you know what? I know that HE wants me to do this too. Maybe I’m losing it (in this sentence, I mean my mind), but I’ve had a few instances of little angel on one shoulder and a little devil on my other.  Every time I run to the freezer, and grab that pint of ice cream and a spoon after a bad day, I hear that nagging voice, “Don’t do it.” But I always give in to that other voice, “You know how GOOD this ice cream tastes, it will make you feel better.” God is trying to convict me of this, and I’m ignoring him. I have been avoiding talking to him much lately. Hmmm.

Tomorrow is Sunday. I’ll have a talk with the man upstairs. We’ll see what happens.

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3 Responses to I’m losing it! (Not my weight, my mind)

  1. dear sweet cassie
    i have faith in you that you can do it! cut back and take the cutie kiddies for a walk every night! i did it and i am way older than you it took me 8yrs. but i did not give up. talk about stress i have plenty of it but i refuse to pig out! you will do this! walking is the best and it is free. love you

  2. mom says:

    time to declare war on your taste buds

  3. mom says:

    sight = sunsets, rainbows
    sound = music, i love you’s
    smell = roses, a newborn baby
    touch = hugs, kisses
    taste = nutrition, survival
    …these are the gifts of life. only in the physical life can one experience the five senses. if you put these into perspective: these are gifts from God…have respect for these gifts. remember: your mind and soul does not require these gifts. only your body. balance of mind body soul by “right” thinking will prevail. ask the God’s hand always be with you to help fight this battle.

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